Rediscovering You

Here’s a secret: when you first start blogging it’s pretty tough to come up with subjects to write about. Then you get a little bit of leverage, a dash of inspiration, and maybe even a crappy disease, and suddenly, you’re golden! You have a whole list of ideas! That’s what happened to me. It’s for this reason that I’ll follow up my last blog post immediately with the final point of my advice for living successfully with a chronic illness. I have many other subjects to get to and don’t want this final thought to get buried in a bunch of other posts.

Listen, I’d really rather be writing about traveling and writing books, which is what I intended this blog to be about when I first put it together. Thankfully I can still talk about that stuff, but I’ve also been granted this opportunity to help others with my success at battling a chronic disease, so I’m going to take it. It’s certainly helpful to think this way: that this new struggle I’m dealing with is an opportunity, not just a burden. You will need to think this way frequently. To say “always” is not realistic. You can’t do anything always. If you can do it eighty percent of the time you’ll be doing darn good.

To review, my ideas for continuing to thrive with a chronic disease are:

Get the best medical care possible

Seek no sympathy

Find new ways to do what you love

Find new things to love

Surround yourself with positivity

And the final point, which I’ll be expanding on today, is:

Don’t let your illness define you

Since announcing that I have cancer I have been labeled as a “warrior,” an ass kicker, and a bitch, (though that’s not a new designation!) and have been glorified, mourned, pitied, bad mouthed, and name-called. Everyone knows what I am, has a character for me to play. Though many of these identities are well meant, what no one really accepts is that the only identity I want to identify with is ME. When you are first diagnosed with a serious illness the processes that you have to go through to continue to function and/or stay alive can strip you of who you are and who you used to be, even though you may look the same on the outside. I consider myself pretty lucky as far as the cancer treatment I’ve received is concerned, but I’ve still had to deal with the biopsies, scans, blood tests, and procedures that leave me bruised temporarily, and sometimes scarred for life. Additionally, through all these the specter of early, sudden, and impending death has bore down on me more often than not. All the while, the biggest struggle has been to find myself again while others label me as something and someone else. No one realizes that while they indicate that I am now somehow “different,” I just want to be the same old me, though with an extra full plate to deal with. It’s because of this that I’ve stopped sharing a lot of my information, though I plan to”come clean” in my next blog posts, however many it may take. (Yeah, maybe more than one. I’ve withheld a lot of gory details.)

My two year “cancerversary” is coming up next month. In the last twenty-three months of my life I’ve been told that I must be “miserable.” (I’m not.) Some have treated me as if nothing is wrong. (Shame on them.) I’ve been counted out. (Sorry to disappoint you. Wait, no I’m not.) Worst of all, some like me better now that I’m “tainted” in their eyes. (They don’t know that I’m still happier than they’ll ever be.) In the pursuit of finding ME again, I’ve had to dodge a hell of a lot of stupidity, hurt, and crisis. Nevertheless, these days I’m hitting ME again pretty closely and sometimes even getting a break from being Cancer Girl. I guess I won’t ever be the same carefree person I was before, but when I think this way I realize: Everyone has their crosses to bear. If I didn’t have cancer I’d be worried about getting old, losing my figure, or not having enough money, things I don’t even think about now. Getting old will be a privilege. Bring it on! My body still looks pretty good, all things considered. And I’ll always figure out how to survive monetarily. Hell, I’ve survived Stage IV lung cancer!

Am I proud of that last point? You bet your bottom dollar I am. Of all the things I’ve been called, “survivor” is the one I accept. On MY terms. Find YOUR terms, and stick with them. Find yourself again, accept the differences, embrace who you are and how much BETTER you are now that you have overcome the disruption of your life.

In the meantime, please enjoy the photos of ME still being ME.

Positively Positivity

Whew! I was really hoping to be back here long before now, but guess what? I recently returned to face to face teaching, with students in the same room for the first time in over a year. After working remotely followed by an accommodation due to a serious underlying illness (advanced lung cancer…yikes!) for the entire 2020-2021 school year, I’m in front of the kids again for real. Masks are required for everyone, so it isn’t quite the same, but I have to admit that it’s been a mostly positive experience for me to be back in the routine I was in for many years before my cancer diagnosis. In fact, I feel quite normal, and can even sometimes forget that I have a deadly disease. Add last week’s great scans to that equation and it makes for some happy times. But heck, what a struggle to get here, and believe me, I’d be a fool to think that it’s going to last. Which doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy the break until the next big cancer event, and that I won’t hope and pray that I have lots of time before that happens.

How did I get to this more comfortable place?

I got (and continue to get) the best medical care possible.

I asked for no sympathy.

I found new ways to do what I love.

I found new things to love.

I surrounded myself with positivity.

I didn’t (and don’t) let my illness define me.

Please click the links above to read previous posts on how I live successfully with a chronic illness that initially spun my world around and still continues to at the drop of a hat.

In this post, I will discuss point number five, surround yourself with positivity

Let me put it right out there: you don’t need people throwing around their own special brand of negativity when you’re already dealing with more heartache than most humans can handle. Do you know what it’s like to have a needle in your arm and lie in a tight, noisy machine while it scans your brain? Then to get out of that machine and get in a different one to scan most of the rest of your body? How about radiation? Ever had it? Or, think about what it might be like when you just want to live your life but you can’t because you have to do things to save your life. Now, add a negative person or two to that and aren’t you feeling extra super sucky? Yeah, I’ve been there, done that.

So, what do you do? The solution is simple to say, difficult to accomplish. Complicated, because the negative individual is oftentimes someone we love and we think we have to be “nice” and let that person chip away at us when our health woes are already doing that, because to get rid of them is “mean” and we just don’t dare cross that line. Listen, there’s no definitive proof in medicine that stress and unhappiness cause diseases and illnesses to fester inside of us. But last summer when I was in Boston for three weeks receiving radiation I was under siege, being called every ugly thing in the world by someone who claims to love me, and the emotional pain I was feeling was palpable. This was on top of being off my cancer medication and limping around Boston five days a week to get my treatments, being away from home, being masked several hours a day in heat and humidity, and wondering if the radiation was even going to work to save my life.

I know now that the radiation did its job pretty well, but five months later I had metastasis in my lower body, and guess what? The abuse continued. When I was sitting around a medical facility alone because of COVID19, too far from home, and fearing for my life again after a pretty good run at cancer, the abuse didn’t stop. I still remember that cold December night very well. I had just turned fifty-four. And I certainly wasn’t getting what I wanted for my birthday.

Alas, I have gained control of this situation since then. I was “mean.” I wasn’t “nice.” I had to avoid this hurt and pain at all costs, and I still do. I’m not much on sidestepping problems, but then I never had cancer to deal with. I danced around this blemish in my life and a few others that threatened to bring me to the ground. Sorry folks, it’s about me now. I can’t afford the abuse, any abuse. My goal is zero percent negativity, but this is pretty much impossible to achieve unless you never leave the house!

Truth is, I’m overwhelmed (underwhelmed?) by some of the adversity I’ve had to deal with on top of cancer. You would think people would know better. But some don’t. Does it still apply to say that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger? Perhaps, but when you’re already dealing with something that has the potential to kill you, any extra adversity is totally unnecessary.

Say good-bye to it in the nicest way possible. And if you can’t do it nicely, it’s okay. You’ve earned the right to be “mean.”

Finding New Joy

Hey, how is your summer going? Mine: Great! In fact, I’m ready to head back out on the road again before I have to return to teaching at the end of the month. Before I do, I wanted to get back to talking about how to live happily and successfully with a chronic illness. Yes, I have one, lung cancer, and yes, I’m still loving life.

In earlier posts I laid out some ground rules to consider that work for me. Below, I’m going to list them again, with links to the previous posts in which I expand on the point:

1) Get the best medical care possible

2) Seek no sympathy

3) Find new ways to do what you love

4) Find new things to love

5) Surround yourself with positivity

6) Don’t let your illness define you

In this post I’ll expand on number four, find new things to love.

I don’t know about you, but the pandemic taught me that I can do things I didn’t ever think I could. Maybe it was because I had more time on my hands than usual. I’m a person that is constantly busy doing the things I have to do, followed by the things I love to do. The other way around if I’m having a really good day! One of my favorite ways to pass my time, namely traveling, was a little tricky when we were all quarantining. So, I took on a new hobby, since I was around town so much more. My new fun was art! And I found out that I’m better at it than I used to think. No, I’m probably not ever going to sell anything that I’ve created, but I’ve decorated my walls and steps and porch with my creations, and I’ve even added a new twist to some of my plants! It’s not important to me whether anyone likes it or not. I’m being fulfilled and I’ve expanded beyond my writing/hiking/traveling mindset! Check out a few of my “projects”:

If you aren’t interested in art, find something else. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn a language. Maybe you’d like to learn the rules of football so you know what all the hype is about. How about playing an instrument? Learning to cook or bake better? Planting a garden? The trick is not necessarily to “master” something, though you may very well end up doing that. What’s really important is to continue to learn and grow. When we suddenly have an illness that is not likely to get better or go away we tend to think that we might as well just give up, since our lives will probably be over soon. When I was first diagnosed with lung cancer things weren’t looking all that good for me. But to my surprise, I was able to move forward, and due to a few smart moves (see my list above!) I’m still doing just that. If I can get back on track you can too. Truth is, we are lucky to live in a time that is full of medical breakthroughs that help us to live better and longer. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try? Do it! Challenge yourself, and keep challenging yourself!

Last year I shattered my on foot mileage record. 1,850 miles! I averaged five miles a day. That’s a lot of walking! I decided that this year I wouldn’t try to break that record, but would make a new goal for myself: 1,500 miles on foot, 500 miles of biking. I’ve had a bicycle hanging around for a decade, hardly riding it over the past few years, not for lack of wanting, just too busy doing other things. This summer I’ve really been putting myself to it, finally! I’m not likely to reach my goal this year, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up! I’m just happy to really be doing it instead of talking about it. For me, it’s the excitement of seeing things in a new and different way, finally doing something I’ve been talking about doing for a long time, and having yet another hobby that makes me smile!

Perhaps the greatest thing about learning something new is that your mind is busy and you aren’t dwelling on things that make you sad or angry. That doesn’t mean you’re in denial, but it does mean that you’re putting your best foot forward and coping with the unwanted changes in your life. Try it. I think you’ll like it!

The Fun Doesn’t Need to End with a Chronic Illness

At Mono Lake, California, South Tufa Trail

Did you ever notice how you wait and wait and wait for a certain day, (wedding, vacation, birthday) then it’s suddenly here, and then the days just keep going and going, even though you want time to stop on that pivotal day? Yeah, I’ve experienced that phenomenon many times in my life and am, in fact, feeling it even as I type. I’m currently on the later end of a road trip that wasn’t really ever supposed to happen. But it did happen, and I don’t want it to end, even though I have many other plans this summer!

This was the trip that I had to cancel in 2019 because of cancer. This is the trip I had to cancel again in 2020 because of COVID19. I got a really cheap plane ticket to Vegas this past April, when things were just starting to open back up, and I kept my fingers crossed that maybe, just maybe, I would pull the trip off the third time. Well, I’m kind of believing that “the third time’s a charm,” because it has been absolutely amazing, everything I had hoped it would be and more. All the photos included here are from the past two weeks. Sick of seeing my face all over my posts? Too bad. I think it’s only proper that if I’m trying to make a point I should show that I’m not just saying something, I’m doing it too. You know, talking the talk and walking walk. My message is: Yes, I have a chronic illness. Yes, I’m enjoying life, and yes, you should be too, whether you have a chronic illness or not.

Here goes post number three in a series of six. In my first two posts I started to discuss the basic rules of living life with a chronic illness:

1) Get the best medical care possible

2) Seek no sympathy

3) Find new ways to do what you love

4) Find new things to love

5) Surround yourself with positivity

6) Don’t let your illness define you

In this post I’ll expand on number three, Find new ways to do what you love.  And what better time to talk about it, than when I’m doing just that?

I am the queen of road trips. Not was. Am. I’ve been road tripping since I was in my twenties, and I’m a lot older than that now! When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2019 it sure looked like the only place I was going on a road trip to was the grave. But because I got the best medical care possible, my health and life turned around quickly and here I am, still at it. I didn’t give up anything that I loved to do. I may have had to do things in a different way until I was strong enough to do them like I did before cancer, but if it meant eventually continuing my pre-disease life even while fighting the fight, I was okay with that. Here are some examples of how I altered the pastimes that make me the happiest.

Writing: I had a lot of fun penning fiction for several years. Around the same time I was diagnosed I had decided to concentrate on blogging and writing nonfiction. Though I didn’t expect to be producing a story about how I survived Stage IV lung cancer (this is still quite unbelievable to me!) that’s what I did because it seemed like the right thing to do, it was therapeutic, and hey, it was writing! I really did plan to publish it, but eventually it only seemed to make me relive that part of my life over and over again, so I shelved it. But I didn’t shelve my love of writing. I’m currently working on another manuscript. You can read the beginning of it here.

Hiking: For over a decade I’ve been keeping activity lists and calendars. I love looking back at them and seeing all the things, near and far, long and short, I’ve done over the years. They also help me understand how I’ve built my strength and endurance back up after two bouts of progressing cancer. (I’m currently in remission.) Speaking of endurance, hiking is more often than not seen as a test of just that. Not in my book. Some of the best hikes I’ve done are easy with big payoffs. (The South Tufa Trail at Mono Lake, as seen above, comes instantly to mind!) As I was building back up to tougher hikes I did a lot of easy stuff that was very pleasing. Now, I’m perfectly fine with doing hikes and walks that keep me in shape but don’t necessarily challenge me. I’ve always been a sucker for a beautiful view! Usually once a week I’ll do something that does challenge me. I can still pull off the leg busters on command!

Traveling: Because of COVID19 the verdict is still out on this one! I’m continuing to get my road trip wings back. I took my new SUV on the road last summer, have taken weekend trips, and have visited my niece in South Carolina several times, all of which went as hoped and planned. Later on this year I’ll take my first international trip since my diagnosis, provided my health holds up and COVID19 stays quiet in the U.S. Here’s hoping that everyone’s gets vaccinated so we can keep moving forward!

I hope that my examples have given you some inspiration. Please don’t give up on what you love! Doing so is the biggest mistake you could make. You need to do what you love more than ever now. Do whatever it takes to continue to enjoy life!

On the road…literally!!

Come On, Get Happy: Life with a Chronic Illness

Howdy friends! Been getting your adventure on? You can bet I have. I wanted to get this next post up before I hit the road of life again, and here it is!

Last time out I started sharing my thoughts about what it takes to live a good life with a chronic illness. Yes, it can be done, even on those days when you feel like the world is kicking you to the curb. For sure, it kind of sucks, and some days will be worse than others, but it can suck a lot less if you go about it the right way.

In my introductory post I laid out some ground rules:

1) Get the best medical care possible

2) Seek no sympathy

3) Find new ways to do what you love

4) Find new things to love

5) Surround yourself with positivity

6) Don’t let your illness define you

Sounds pretty straightforward, right? Right. And pretty easy? That’s where you’re wrong. All of these points take time and patience and the ability (and willingness) to make good decisions. Some of the choices you’ll be faced with will also be tough. Maybe you’ll need to end relationships or change jobs or stop doing things you’ve always done. The focus is you, not anyone else. This is hard for those who are used to always taking care of others. This time it’s about you, and your ultimate happiness. Look at it this way: you’re already sacrificing enough by leading a life that may consist of pain, appointments, and missing out on fun that you once had. Why give up more?

Getting the best medical care possible is my first suggestion, and was covered in my first post. Rather than rehash it, click here to read about point number one.

Which brings us to point number two: Seek no sympathy. Social media is full of individuals with no self-esteem who look to their “friends” to build them up. Don’t be one of them. One of the things I dreaded most when I first got my diagnosis was what others were going to say to me or about me. This has nothing to do with whether your friends and acquaintances understand and “like” you or not. It’s not about how your hair looks or what clothes you’re wearing and whether they’re envious of you or you’re envious of them. You shouldn’t care about any of that anymore; you have much bigger fish to fry now. It’s about what they think of you knowing you have this new “thing” that is suddenly part of your life. Chances are good that they’re going to come at you with sympathy because of this terrible luck that has befallen you. How do you think you’re going to handle puppy dog eyes? Tears? Your name with the word “poor” in front of it? And what will you get out of it? Will you feel better? I headed my sympathizers off at the pass by announcing my expected diagnosis before I even got it. This likely helped me to acknowledge what was happening to me as well. I’ve come a heck of a long way since. Whether the people around me have gotten as far as I have is a matter of opinion. You’d have to ask them. But I warned them about how I wanted to be treated. I’ve spent the time since my diagnosis (inching closer to two years now) trying to figure out how to continue to be ME again, while so many others have spent the time trying to make me be someone else. Be it a hero or a disease-ridden ogre, it hardly matters. I used to be one of US, now I’m one of THEM. No matter what I do, no one lets me forget it: I’m “different.” And for that, I need sympathy. Sobbing. Words for “warriors” like, “You got this.” Assumptions that I’m “suffering” (I’m not) and that I’m some kind of superhero (I’m not.) Shrug it off or defend yourself against it. You don’t need it.

Once again, every image here was taken post diagnosis.

As previously mentioned, I’m getting ready to get out of Massachusetts. By the time you read this I’ll be on my way to the land of record hot temperatures and no more face masks. (I’ll still be wearing mine when necessary.) California, of course! With some Nevada thrown in for good measure. A colorful trip that will warrant at least one post, if not more. So forgive me ahead of time if my next piece of writing leaves the above conversation hanging! I promise to be back soon with point number three, Find new ways to do what you love. Meanwhile, I’m going to do just that!

Happy Summer! Adventure on!

Chronic Adventuress with a Chronic Illness

Yeah, I guess it’s time for me to face the facts: I’m going to be a sickie for the rest of my life. Believe me, even if I try to forget about it, there’s always someone there to remind me that I could be just as easily knocking on death’s door as I could be hiking mountains and enjoying life. Whoa, wait, did I just say enjoying life? With a chronic illness? Yes, truth of truths is that no matter what stage IV cancer has taken away from me, there’s still more that it hasn’t taken away from me. The number one thing I still have is my happiness. We’re talking real, deep happiness, not the material kind that a lot of people try to substitute for the genuine product. In fact, I find that more than ever, little things make me smile. A lot of things make me smile. And they make me smile a lot! Understand?

Since I was diagnosed in 2019, I’ve tossed around ways to help others who are struggling with illness. I touched on being “the new face of surviving cancer,” and wrote the story of my first year with the disease. (It’s in a drawer now, unpublished!) I’ve ridden the “Who am I now?” wave the whole time. After a recurrence soured my survival skills for a few months, I’m back in a comfortable place full of hope and future plans and feeling like I have something to offer others living with chronic illnesses.

Before I start sharing my thoughts, let me first clarify a few things. Most importantly, my chronic illness is lung cancer, which, if I had it ten years ago, would have undoubtedly killed me. I am extremely fortunate that my illness can be controlled with medication. This likely sounds far fetched, but it really isn’t. Read here for more information about how we can now treat some individuals with lung cancer. Also, my disease has nothing to do with smoking, so before you think that I somehow “asked for” this, read here about how many people who get lung cancer now have never smoked. With that out there, let me just say one more thing…

I recently Google’d some general keywords to be sure that I wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes by calling myself the Chronic Adventuress with a Chronic Illness, and was disgruntled to find out that there are a heck of a lot of “experts” out there writing about living with a chronic illness who don’t have a chronic illness. That decided it. I have the first hand experience to back it up. And, I can honestly say that I’ve had to change my lifestyle very little since my diagnosis, thanks to steps that I have taken to preserve my well being. I’ve intentionally peppered this post with photos of me winning at the game of life. All of them were taken post diagnosis.

Without further ado, here are my six suggestions:

1) Get the best medical care possible

2) Seek no sympathy

3) Find new ways to do what you love

4) Find new things to love

5) Surround yourself with positivity

6) Don’t let your illness define you

I planned to talk about all six points in this post, but I know the limits of the human attention span circa 2021. Having the opinion that these are all crucial (and we are, after all, talking about life, and living it as happily as possible,) I think they all deserve to be fleshed out, and I will give them all their due, even if I have to write several different posts! So for now, let me talk a little more about #1, GET THE BEST MEDICAL CARE POSSIBLE.

The best medical care possible? A no brainer, right? If I thought it was a no brainer I wouldn’t even mention it. Getting the best care possible is not a matter of insurance or money or location. It is a matter of choice, plain and simple. While I’m extremely fortunate to live within driving distance of some of the best medical facilities on the planet, don’t think for one minute that patients don’t travel great distances across states, countries, and oceans to get here. And don’t think for the next minute that there aren’t people who have access to the same care that don’t seek it, because there are. I urge everyone I talk to who has a serious illness to research the best, and get it any way they can. The more serious your illness, the more likely you are to need something beyond your local hospital. Don’t waste precious time getting what you need and deserve!

I’ve now exhausted your attention span!

I promise to get back to this discussion soon. Until then, adventure on!

Utah Reunion

My post theme was 80s rock lyrics!

Anyone who knows me well knows that Southern Utah is my favorite place on Earth. And I’ve been to a lot of places on Earth. But if you look back on the past two years of my posts, you’ll find out there was a time when it sure looked as though I would never see my beloved land again. Well, guess what? Life is a funny thing, plays strange games with you. Just last week I had a reunion with my true love, and my trip exceeded all expectations.

Partition Arch, Arches National Park, the Devil’s Garden

I’m currently more than a year and a half into my journey with metastatic lung cancer. This is not the hiking trail I ever wanted to take, but I have to say that in some ways I wouldn’t change it. Yeah, I know, you think I’m lying. That’s because you’re there and I’m here, and until you’re here, you wouldn’t know. In a lot of ways I like myself better as a survivor of a disease that most don’t make it through. But I’m not here to talk about that. Perhaps that will be my NEXT blog. Today, I’m going to talk about my return to travel.

Ta-Daaa!! Selfie at Glen Canyon

Listen, I’ve done my time with COVID19. I’m fully vaccinated, don’t cause trouble in Walmart by being a mask rebel, stayed out of pubic places when I was supposed to. With things starting to look up, I chose to follow through on a date that loomed on the calendar as one of hope. COVID19 was not my only roadblock. Cancer was, too. A lot has happened since more of the shitty Big C was discovered in December 2020. I’m back in fighting shape. BUT…

En Route to Chesler Park, Canyonlands

I saw my oncology team a few days before I left, and voiced concern about my ability to do what I wanted to do in the southeastern corner of my beloved state. Just didn’t think that my endurance was what it should be. I was assured that medically and physically, I should be able to pull off what I set out to do. But I was full of doubt and asking myself questions that threatened to crush me: Can you still do what you used to? What you love to do? Or are you just pretending? Trying to put a happy face on a devastating situation? Let me tell you something, friends: your mind can really “F” you up. In fact, I thought about canceling the trip the morning of, as I had a full blown panic attack that lasted right up until I got to the airport. Then, this crazy calm swept over me.

Top of the world, Arches National Park

Similar things happened to me after my initial diagnosis in late 2019. The country-hopping woman that I once was dissolved into the meltdown queen of the grocery store. I had to work on me a lot to get myself back in the swing of a life that I thought was over, had to learn to walk through the valley of Those Who Don’t Have Cancer as one of Those Who Do Have Cancer. Had to swallow the bitter pill of never being able to live life without this curse after my hope of being cured was dashed in December 2020, between my 54th birthday and Christmas. None of that mattered as I moved smoothly through the airport and blended in with the crowd. Even less when I emerged from the dreaded 737-Max 8 in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the American West miraculously reached. And yeah, I know there are quicker ways to get to Southern Utah than from Albuquerque. But I LIKE the drive from there.

Hite Overlook, Glen Canyon. Lunch view!

The crazy thing about my treatment is that if I didn’t tell someone I have cancer, they wouldn’t know. At one time I told a lot of people. I no longer bother, because it doesn’t really change anyone’s attitude toward me, for better or for worse. I guess at one time I’d hoped that if I told someone they might have some real respect for me, but I’ve learned that for the most part, no one cares what I’ve survived. I didn’t tell a soul in the entire huge American West that I have an illness that is going to kill me whether I like it or not. It didn’t matter anyway. Because I was headed to Utah. Nothing matters when I’m heading to Utah. Even less when I’m actually there.

Yeah.

After my emotional reunion at the state line, I motored on to Moab, first discovered with my beloved Mom in 1995, and the center of my traveling world, just like she was. Mom was taken away from me in 2004, but Moab was not. I settled into a cozy room and had to decide if I was going to move forward as me again, or if I was going to crash and burn and go home with my tail between my legs.

Beneath Morning Glory Bridge, Grandstaff Trail

I usually have more time to work with. When I go during the summer I can do some short hikes in between long hauls, pick and choose carefully, move stuff around, and get maximum mileage. Not this time. This was April school vacation week. Time was tight. Before I even arrived I changed my original plans, thinking the treks I relished weren’t in my reach. However, I stuck with an all-new hike on my first day out, the Grandstaff Trail to Morning Glory Bridge, a moderate offering with a lot of stream crossings and a massive natural bridge at the end. Unsure of myself, I swallowed my fears and started slow. Paced myself, something I never really had to do before. One foot in front of the other, pour water down my throat, have a snack if necessary. It worked. I felt okay. My energy level was normal enough. I wasn’t dragging along or huffing and puffing. I was also at much higher elevations than anywhere in the East, so that was a good challenge too. Grandstaff went great. So I put the original plan back on the table!

Back Home!

Back in 2013 when I first had the crazy idea to hike all the national parks in the United States I knocked off all five Utah parks in one trip. I’d been thinking about repeating the Devil’s Garden at Arches, and had it on my list, remembering the vast array of spectacular scenery along the way. This time I wanted to do the loop, instead of the out and back I did in ’13. The primitive loop. What the heck does that mean? Well, let me tell you, I found out! It meant exactly what the sign said:

No lies here!

I could have turned back. But I didn’t turn back. This was my proving ground, and the hike turned out to be nine of the most challenging miles I’ve ever done! Think scaling twenty foot rocks, neck-breaking drop offs, hiking in soft sand. Oh, and at least ten incredible arches along the way! I’m not sorry that I did it, even though I didn’t feel like getting up early enough to do the eleven miler that I planned to do the next day. No worries, I cut it down to six and got a crazy workout anyway! And still had a bit of energy in reserve for Glen Canyon on the last day of my reunion!

Good-bye, My Love. Until Next Time…

Then there I was, back at the sign. The scene is always so different in reverse, when Utah is in my rear view mirror. But as always, I swore that I’ll be back. Lord willing, I will be back!

Until then, I have more adventures, more reunions up my sleeve, and I’ll continue to live by one of my favorite sayings ever: