No Fake News: A Week with COVID19

Ahhh, what a date with disaster it has been! The one I’ve avoided for over two years. It has lasted all week, but I’m told I got off rather easy (so far), because for some people it just drags on and on and on…

I’ve walked hand in hand with cancer for several months now, have made peace with it in my own way, have learned to live and thrive even as it tries to hold me down. But I avoided “the other one” like the damn plague. Walking the other way, wearing a variety of unfashionable face coverings long after the style had gone out for most, scheduling four brief sessions of preventative acupuncture to try and keep it at bay. But it got me anyway.

Where was it? At graduation downtown, where several hundred folks went maskless indoors? Or the next evening at the Paul McCartney concert, where several thousand went maskless with the Green Giant behind? Maybe it was even at my place of employment, where many children and adults were able to make their own decisions about masking over a month ago, and the lion’s share chose to bid adieu to the pesky virus-catchers.

I kept wearing protection when and where I had to. So it’s tough for me to pinpoint where I stumbled. But stumble I did, and ended up with the dreaded COVID19. The misunderstood COVID19. The fake COVID19? Oh please, folks. If you can somehow still believe this, let me tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt, the global pandemic is not just some charade created to make some guy with orange hair and a mouth that needs to be permanently silenced actually shut it. Don’t put yourself in danger of being unvaccinated and getting sick just to perpetuate that lie. Believe me, a four times vaxxed sickie, I get it now how dangerous this virus really is.

Perhaps I got it because of all the unvaccinated Americans buying into conspiracy theories and other political nonsense drifting around. I’m trying not to be angry that I now have this to sort through in addition to cancer and the sudden death of my dear sister Marie, whose love and support would be much appreciated right now. But let me tell you, it’s damn hard not to think about “what could have been,” had we all not just gotten our shots and achieved herd immunity.

Now, instead of posting hiking pictures of beautiful landscapes, I can post fabulous telltale images of trying to live through another health scare.

I was probably in a pretty good position to get the menace. Not only have I been exhausted and moving at a pace too quickly for a human being with my health background to move (guilty!) I’ve also been under extra stress as well as mourning for Marie. So when I got the sniffles last Friday I took special note and made sure I got a good night of sleep with my fingers crossed that I’d sleep the symptoms away.

No such luck.

Saturday, and I gave myself a home test. From the very beginning I knew that I would get my first positive result. That little line next to the “T” has never come close to rearing its ugly little head at me. But it was loud and clear that day. Now it won’t go away. I was recently told that after infection, someone can test positive for up to ninety days. Yay, more stuff I never wanted to know. As if cancer didn’t already give me lots of unwanted knowledge.

My symptoms never really got worse, because I arrested them before they could, or that’s at least the way I’m thinking of it. I made calls to my medical team in Boston and got on Paxlovid, the latest wonder drug that seeks to stop the virus from becoming life threatening. No ventilators for this girl! Unfortunately, the drug, or perhaps the virus itself, caused some horrible side effects for me that have left me dizzy, unsteady, and exhausted. I’ve spent five days in bed, cursing the New England sunshine and listening to the traffic of those who are blessed enough to still stand up and walk, something that has become a major challenge for me. After combating some serious pain over the past six months, I’m aching again. I had to stop taking Paxlovid because of the side effects, and spend my Tuesday afternoon and evening in the ER to be sure the virus drug wasn’t having a drug interaction with the pill that is killing my cancer. My active life has ground to a halt.

All because of a virus that is supposed to be fake.

Honestly, I don’t know how many times I can “start over,” only to come up against another setback. Please send positive thoughts.

And I never turn down a good prayer.

Positively Positivity

Whew! I was really hoping to be back here long before now, but guess what? I recently returned to face to face teaching, with students in the same room for the first time in over a year. After working remotely followed by an accommodation due to a serious underlying illness (advanced lung cancer…yikes!) for the entire 2020-2021 school year, I’m in front of the kids again for real. Masks are required for everyone, so it isn’t quite the same, but I have to admit that it’s been a mostly positive experience for me to be back in the routine I was in for many years before my cancer diagnosis. In fact, I feel quite normal, and can even sometimes forget that I have a deadly disease. Add last week’s great scans to that equation and it makes for some happy times. But heck, what a struggle to get here, and believe me, I’d be a fool to think that it’s going to last. Which doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy the break until the next big cancer event, and that I won’t hope and pray that I have lots of time before that happens.

How did I get to this more comfortable place?

I got (and continue to get) the best medical care possible.

I asked for no sympathy.

I found new ways to do what I love.

I found new things to love.

I surrounded myself with positivity.

I didn’t (and don’t) let my illness define me.

Please click the links above to read previous posts on how I live successfully with a chronic illness that initially spun my world around and still continues to at the drop of a hat.

In this post, I will discuss point number five, surround yourself with positivity

Let me put it right out there: you don’t need people throwing around their own special brand of negativity when you’re already dealing with more heartache than most humans can handle. Do you know what it’s like to have a needle in your arm and lie in a tight, noisy machine while it scans your brain? Then to get out of that machine and get in a different one to scan most of the rest of your body? How about radiation? Ever had it? Or, think about what it might be like when you just want to live your life but you can’t because you have to do things to save your life. Now, add a negative person or two to that and aren’t you feeling extra super sucky? Yeah, I’ve been there, done that.

So, what do you do? The solution is simple to say, difficult to accomplish. Complicated, because the negative individual is oftentimes someone we love and we think we have to be “nice” and let that person chip away at us when our health woes are already doing that, because to get rid of them is “mean” and we just don’t dare cross that line. Listen, there’s no definitive proof in medicine that stress and unhappiness cause diseases and illnesses to fester inside of us. But last summer when I was in Boston for three weeks receiving radiation I was under siege, being called every ugly thing in the world by someone who claims to love me, and the emotional pain I was feeling was palpable. This was on top of being off my cancer medication and limping around Boston five days a week to get my treatments, being away from home, being masked several hours a day in heat and humidity, and wondering if the radiation was even going to work to save my life.

I know now that the radiation did its job pretty well, but five months later I had metastasis in my lower body, and guess what? The abuse continued. When I was sitting around a medical facility alone because of COVID19, too far from home, and fearing for my life again after a pretty good run at cancer, the abuse didn’t stop. I still remember that cold December night very well. I had just turned fifty-four. And I certainly wasn’t getting what I wanted for my birthday.

Alas, I have gained control of this situation since then. I was “mean.” I wasn’t “nice.” I had to avoid this hurt and pain at all costs, and I still do. I’m not much on sidestepping problems, but then I never had cancer to deal with. I danced around this blemish in my life and a few others that threatened to bring me to the ground. Sorry folks, it’s about me now. I can’t afford the abuse, any abuse. My goal is zero percent negativity, but this is pretty much impossible to achieve unless you never leave the house!

Truth is, I’m overwhelmed (underwhelmed?) by some of the adversity I’ve had to deal with on top of cancer. You would think people would know better. But some don’t. Does it still apply to say that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger? Perhaps, but when you’re already dealing with something that has the potential to kill you, any extra adversity is totally unnecessary.

Say good-bye to it in the nicest way possible. And if you can’t do it nicely, it’s okay. You’ve earned the right to be “mean.”

My Sweet America

Hiking at Shenandoah National Park, Summer 2020. First national park hike after diagnosis.

I’d like to say Happy New Year and mean it.

I can’t, for a lot of different reasons, the least of which is that I have more cancer.

The least? Yes, really, that’s the way I feel. Like it’s low priority right now, maybe because I’ll be on a new medication soon that is probably going to work.

Yawn.

Huh?

Here’s what’s really bugging me: The state of our nation, the condition my sweet America is in right now. Yes, I’m taking this recent carnage in Washington, DC, personally. And the destruction caused by COVID19, too. Because me and America have a very intimate relationship, and now that I have a serious illness, there’s always that uncomfortable fact that my time is running out. I want to renew that love and I can’t, because of this devastating virus that so many aren’t taking seriously, and because, well, there’s some scary folks out there!

I am truly appalled at the latest news out of our nation’s capital. I was there years back after a nasty break up. One day, I did a ten mile loop that included many of the finest monuments. Another day, I took in the Capitol and the White House. The beautiful city held me in its noble arms as I sobbed and pined for long hoped-for love lost and took my mind off my many shortcomings. I want it there to go back to, for everyone to enjoy.

Our nation’s capitol, the way it should look

My love for America was not born out of flag waving and fist clenching, nor does it manifest itself as such. My relationship with her was nurtured by gripping her asphalt with four tires for thousands of miles, pounding her soil with hiking boots, and reveling in her natural mysteries that are slowly being dismantled. I’m very angry that narrow-minded, brainwashed individuals are carving messages in her sacred trees and believing that violence is the way to get what they want.

I’ve figured something out: these individuals will sacrifice treasured relationships to follow a man that could care less about them and will throw them under a moving bus the first chance he gets.

I’m not someone that seeks conflict. In fact, for the past four years I’ve stifled my opinion around certain friends and family to avoid just that. Four years? That’s a long time to keep quiet! Especially when these same friends and family are free as the proverbial bird to throw their views around whether anyone wants to hear them or not. But me? I have to bristle and keep my mouth shut so as not to incite them.

Well, guess what? I don’t care about that anymore. So here’s what I did.

Recently, I put three such relationships to the test by stating my opinion once. The data that follows from my experiment is not an exaggeration.

Relationship One: Ended in silence so deep that it lasted through my birthday, Christmas, New Years, and the bad news about my health, and is still going strong.

Relationship Two: Ended with “Have a nice life.” (Ironic, ya think?)

Relationship Three: Ended with a conspiracy theory and a claim that the deaths of 350,000 victims of COVID19 would have died of something else anyway.

To be fair, there was a fourth relationship involved that actually stood the test of my wrath. So there are some real human beings out there in nowhere land.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I just don’t know where we go from here. Unite under the new President? I wish we could. But the chance of that has been ruined by a bully that can’t lose or play fair. Some people have to screw things up for everyone if they don’t get their way. I have a lot more hope that I’ll keep winning against cancer than I do that My Sweet America will heal sometime soon.

I came across a perfect quote today, courtesy of Isaac Asimov: “When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent.”

Nevertheless, I’m dreaming of those four wheels on the payment. My soles in the soil. No mask on my face. And cancer not getting the best of me. That’s enough to ask for already, without hoping that others wake up, pay attention to what they’re doing, and seek a voice of reason instead of the battle cry of a madman.

There’s no pride in destruction, in acting on a lie bigger than any we’ve ever known. The world is watching us fall apart. Some are laughing, some are grimacing. But everyone saw it coming. It was the only end to this monotonous tale of greed, falsehood, and insanity.

Look at what we have become in the past four years, and please, let’s get back to the way we used to be before this nightmare happened. We weren’t perfect but let’s face it, anything is better than THIS.

To Travel or Not to Travel? That is the Question

By the time this reaches the general public, I’ll be on an airplane going to see my niece in South Carolina. Yeah, all things considered, it’s a big decision to fly through the COVID19 storm with a “serious underlying illness,” better known to me as “lung cancer.” It’s also a choice that many people have to make as we kick off this holiday season.

To travel or not to travel? To see loved ones or not see them? Everyone’s answer is different for a variety of reasons.

As I write this I have three trips on the horizon of varying lengths, and I’ll make my choice to sink or swim a week before I go. I never seriously considered cancelling this particular trip, because I deem it a fairly low risk for me. The actual flying time each way is less than three hours. I’ll be in close contact with two other people and three dogs when I arrive. I’ll be there for three and a half days. And I’ll schedule a COVID test for the day after I get back, per the rules of reentering my state.

I’m a little nervous, as I’ve fought so hard to stay healthy. One jerk on an airplane that wants to whine about wearing a mask, and the whole “it’ll be alright” plan goes out the window. With cases skyrocketing, it sure would seem that these people would cease to play games. And yet it isn’t too hard to find still another story of someone who is just too good for a face covering. Someone who has to have some silly little moment of rebellion. Maybe the same guy or gal who is running through a red light or a stop sign to save thirty seconds of their life by putting someone else’s in danger? Please folks, don’t let it be you. In the words of the late, great James Dean (who died in a fiery car crash less than a year later) “The life you’re saving could be mine.”

Want to be a rebel? Jump out of an airplane. Don’t infect everyone in it before you dive.

So, here’s my plan: Stare straight ahead. Mouth and nose covered at all times. Wash hands often. Don’t accept any food or drink from the person walking down the aisle in the polyester uniform. And pray some yahoo doesn’t come along and start a fight like the ones all over YouTube. Don’t hate me if I’m not friendly or if you, midflight, decide that the plane isn’t going to return to the station so you let your mouth hang out and I decide to be a Karen. All I want is to safely see my beloved Amanda and eat turkey and Chinese food and put up her Christmas tree. Let’s all play it cool, okay?

Things are going to get better soon than later. We’ve got this!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Get Your Road Trip On

You know what I think is kind of funny? That Americans are suddenly “rediscovering domestic travel.” Umm…What? Well, it really shouldn’t surprise me, with “influencers” (ugh, I strongly dislike that term) all over social media blasting the human race with professional selfies in front of picture-perfect settings eight thousand miles away and telling us, “You can be like meeeeee! Just read my blog and I’ll teach you how!” One has been traveling for seven years, waitressing in Thailand in order to spend several months there, another one is teaching English in Hong Kong so he can afford to live there. Now, they’re all home trying not to lose followers and stay relevant while we, the rest of the world, stick closer to our own backyards. What is it about some people that think the further away they are, the better?

I know, I know, I’m one to talk! Until cancer almost took my life and COVID19 followed, I was running around the globe every chance I got. But I never, ever pushed domestic travel aside. In fact, there’s still nothing better for me than a road trip in my beloved American West! I didn’t get there this summer because of the virus, but I still had me a nice drive to South Carolina. I have not been out of the country since last summer. Do I miss it? Yes. But what I yearn for most are my hiking trips to Southern Utah and several other closer to home destinations. The wonder of domestic destinations was never lost on me!

Here are three ways to enjoy America, still the greatest and most beautiful country in the world in my eyes!

The Full Road Trip

What the heck is a “full road trip?” Well, if you’ve spent years behind the wheel like me, the “full road trip” is when you drive your own vehicle from your own house and go a long, long way. You can probably guess that these are the gold standard. I’ve done several of them, and the fact that I live in Massachusetts makes for some major drives if I want to get to my favorite places in the west. How long do you need to do a bang up job of seeing America? If you’re really lucky you have all the time and money in the world and you don’t ever have to go home. If you’re like me and most of the rest of humanity, you’re on a budget and you might actually have a job you have to get back to. My advice is to take a minimum of four weeks to have a decent trip in. For me, the perfect time is five to six weeks, though my longest road trip to date was seven weeks. Understand that you aren’t going to see “everything,” so start making your wish list of most coveted sights and connect the dots if you can. The worst thing you could do is try to stuff too many sights into too little time. Better to see a few things well than many things hardly at all, though not everyone will agree with me. Add in some hiking, and your time in one place gets even longer. To me, driving too much in a day is also a major sin. It’s stressful and you don’t see anything. Don’t be one of those road trippers that rolls down the window to take a picture of the Grand Canyon then rolls it up and drives on. Please?

The Fly/Drive

I fully realize that when some people read “a minimum of four weeks” above, they started gasping for air. For those folks, I introduce “the Fly/Drive,” the type of domestic trip that I have taken too many times to count at this point. The Fly/Drive is just what is sounds like: You get on a plane and fly to a starting point, where you rent a car or RV. The trick is to start from a convenient location to what you want to see most. Las Vegas is a terrific place to start. I’ve also grown very attached to Albuquerque as “go.” I guess my love for the west continues to shine through! Then again, I’ve had fantastic Fly/Drives from Miami, El Paso, and Seattle. I suggest at least two weeks even if you’re road tripping this way, though I usually do three. Once again, it’s all about what and how much you want to see. I highly recommend checking air and car prices from different cities. A few years back I rerouted an entire trip because Salt Lake City offers were much better than Denver’s. The Fly/Drive allows you to skip over some parts of the country you might not be as interested in and get to your personal nitty-gritty!

City Slicking

I don’t usually include cities in my road trips, and if I do, it’s pretty quick. Maybe an overnight to break up a long drive, or a special museum or show. What I have done is jet to a city just to see the city. I can remember flying in and out of Chicago numerous times and thinking, Someday I’m going to fly into Chicago just to see Chicago. And I did, and was thrilled with what I found! Some cities are car friendlier, like Dallas, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas. Others, like Chicago, Boston, Washington D.C., and New York, have excellent public transportation systems that will add some extra adventure to your trip. One of my more memorable city trips was to Dallas to do my own investigation into the JFK assassination. In these uncertain times we live in, you will obviously want to call ahead and be sure that you aren’t planning a trip around something that is closed. Even so, filling your day pack and pounding the city pavement can uncover some hidden gems that make lasting memories!

Hmm…I’m getting inspired to get back to writing that little book I started last year, “How to Road Trip.” I’m even more inspired to plan my next Southwestern Fly/Drive!

COVID19: A Teacher’s Perspective

Aside from writing my wildly popular blog (wink-wink), fighting Stage IV Lung Cancer, and continuing to figure out how to put my life back on track during the COVID19 crisis, I’m also a teacher. Yes, it’s my bread and butter, a major part of my existence, and I have my opinion on what direction this upcoming school year should be going.

Last week, my school system announced that we would start the new school year remotely and would reassess each new quarter. This news brought mostly cheers, with a smattering of jeers. Those same jeers have also been all over social media since March, many of them coming from parents, and aimed at teachers.

Listen mom and dad, I understand your duress. Now, understand mine.

For the purpose of safety, I was locked out of my classroom as well as my school in mid-March. That means that the only materials I had were whatever I had on my laptop, which suddenly became my forum for teaching my special ed students, all of whom are intellectually disabled and require any number of accommodations to be successful. Nearly one hundred percent of what I teach is on paper, with assistance from other live human beings, a Smartboard, laptop computers, and manipulatives. Suddenly, I and thousands of other teachers around the globe were thrust into a situation where we had none of our usual supplies to guide us in our pursuits to teach your children (and ours!) in the manner they deserve. Over the next three months we were told one thing, which we would start doing, only to have it change five minutes after we perfected it. We found new ways to do old things. They weren’t as good or as effective as the old tried and true way, but then again, when have any of us dealt with a pandemic that shut down the world? All due respect, but we didn’t reinvent the wheel, we made a new one, one that will come in very handy as we make our ways back to our mostly virtual classrooms.

I know parents have pressing woes to think about. Loss of jobs, childcare issues, health concerns. Here are just a few of the many woes of a teacher in September 2020.

Every single child that a teacher comes in contact with in the classroom, in the hall, at the buses, and in other common areas of a school building is a potential health threat. Multiply that by every single other individual a single child comes in contact with in or out of school and the risk balloons. Teachers know darn well that even though it’s a rule to wear a mask, school is for breaking rules. This never changed and it isn’t going to change now. The new “behavior” will be some kid who doesn’t want to wear a mask. How about kids with health issues? Teachers with health issues? Improper ventilation? Buildings not up to standards of cleanliness and sanitation?

Is your head spinning yet? Mine sure is. And those are just the tip of the iceberg. Did I mention that every single one of these things is also a risk to the health of your child…and you?

I’m not lazy, and get no particular thrill from making my paycheck sitting at my kitchen table. In fact, I love being in a room with my students engaged in face to face lessons. Love to see their hard work all over the walls and hear their excitement when they get a question right or learn something they didn’t know before. No, sitting in front of a computer is no match for that and it never will be. But the risks involved in putting hundreds of adults and children back under one roof is too overwhelming to even imagine. We’ve already seen the results of the rush to “get back to normal.” How many more examples do we need? I also understand the concerns about students falling behind. But what’s the alternative? Keeping a virus circulating instead of being realistic and following the rules until we can all be safe? Teachers writing wills and obituaries? (Yes, this is real!) Pretending that COVID19 is fake and invented for political purposes? See-through shower curtains between us and students? (Don’t even get me going on this one!)

The hopeful news is that we now have a starting point, due to the hard work of many dedicated professionals and savvy parents who worked together last spring. Now, we will be allowed into our rooms and buildings to get what we need to be more successful in this unprecedented time. No, it’s not going to be the same, at least not for the time being. But we will figure this out and in the end, being safe is better than being sorry. It’s the rule we’ve always been taught. Why change now?

What’s So Good About Quarantining?

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Howdy again! I guess it’s kind of weird to be writing about quarantining when the country is opening back up, but dare I say that this might not be over? Sure, we’re showing up in droves to book an outside table at our favorite restaurant, and gathering together in relief that this weird thing that has happened to the world has come to an end, but let’s face it, COVID19 is not over. I’m not sure that I’m ready to say that the world is never going to be the same again, but who knows.

What are you supposed to be doing right now? Me, I had a whole new world to deal with already before this virus came along and added another new type of weird to my life. Cancer came a callin’ for me in October of last year, and shortly after that a bit of a miracle occurred that put me back on the map of life. I’m supposed to be packing for a summer of fun, of getting back to the me that cancer tried to strip me of. Instead, I’m cancelling and rescheduling trips with my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to get some travel time in later this year. But I’m also figuring out new ways to enjoy life, because I have to. We all have to! And believe me, if I can find alternatives to the crazy awesome life I was leading a year ago, you can, too!

Here are some of the things that I’ve adopted to keep busy.

A Walk in the Woods

Hiking and walking is nothing new for me, but I’ve stepped up my game even more now that I have to be home so much. Truth is, “quarantining” for me has never meant being shut up in the house 24/7. I decided early on that I would not give up my time outside, as the likelihood of catching COVID19 on a hiking trail is slim to none. What I have been basically forced to do is to find new trails to explore as well as new parks and towns to check out. I’m so used to being in some exotic or amazing locale several times a year, that hiking in the same five or six nearby places in between trips worked. Not anymore! I needed to get creative, so as not to get bored. And guess what? I’ve found some excellent stuff! I always said that someday I was going to take a summer off from globetrotting and enjoy New England, and what do you know…it happened! (Of course, I kind of wanted to have a choice…) What hidden gems are in your backyard? Look around! I know they’re there!

Reading

If I could sit around and just read books all day, I might. Lately, I’m rereading old favorites and finding new obsessions to fly through. Now is the time to start that epic classic you’ve always wanted to conquer. Or, maybe indulge in something fluffy to take your mind off the craziness in the world. There’s always the option too, of learning something new that you’ve always wanted to know more about. Books have so many great functions!

Journaling

We’re living in historic times! Why not write about it? I’ve been filling notebooks for years, and I still get excited when I purchase my next one. I look for ones with fun covers on them, or interesting sayings. You could also buy a plain covered spiral and decorate it yourself. Purchase your favorite pens that write to your specifications and comfort. The Pentel RSVP Fine Point in black is my must have pen. Less than a buck apiece and they last a long time! (And by the way, I’m not making any moolah off that link!) While what you write inside the journal is the most important thing, take it from someone who has been doing this for forty years: what you use to do it is almost as crucial! There’s no worse killer of great journaling than pens that don’t work!

Art Projects

Folks, I’m no artist…believe me! But know what? I don’t care! I’m painting and creating my little heart out! Not everyone loves the message rock thing, but because I’m in the woods all the time, I find them magical, and have been making my own. As a teacher who has had her share of talented kids, I was at a loss with remote learning, so had to get my art fix without them. Rocks, hubcaps, flower pots, so many things around the house are up for beautifying with some cheap acrylic paints or cans of spray paint. Go ahead, find your inner Picasso!

Pictures

Do you still print pictures? Many people don’t, which I think is sad. Because we rely on our phones for so much, photo albums are getting a lot harder to find. Just had to order one from the ‘Zon because I couldn’t find any without going out of my way to a specialty store that may not even be open. Nevertheless, now just may be the time to start printing your memories again. I’m convinced that paper pictures and albums are still the only trustworthy way we can save the special moments that we want to remember for a lifetime and pass on to future generations. Clark Color Labs allows you to upload images right from your computer, their developing costs are excellent, and their service is fast.

What are those things that you wanted to do “when you have time?” The “time” has arrived! And if the department store shelves are any indication of what Americans are doing with their extra hours, it can safely be said that we’re taking really good care of our cars, prettying up our homes, working in our yards, and spending a lot of time with family. Not such a bad thing, you think?

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Not Quite Quarantining

Hey, how are ya’ll doing? Going cuckoo yet? Me, I was okay for the first few weeks, getting a little jittery now. Initially, quarantining was kind of fun, plus it gave me time to heal and rest after receiving pinpoint radiation to the tumor in my lung. Yeah, I was limping around for two weeks, but was staying active, walking about twenty-five miles a week while in treatment. All better from that now, but getting some cabin fever, and truth be told, I’m not even in one hundred percent female balls to the wall quarantine.

I live in Massachusetts, one of the states hardest hit by the pandemic, and I have a serious illness that makes me more likely to get COVID19, but I’m still not staying in all the time. Here’s why.

First of all, chances are nil that you’re going to get or pass the virus to anyone else if you obey social distancing outside. Folks, I’m no medical professional, but this is the truth. You aren’t going to get corona virus from a tree or a rock. And being inside everyday, all day, is an absolutely mind boggling thought, especially if you have to think about losing your job, how you’re going to be paying your bills, how to keep kids happy, etc. I’m lucky that I have not lost employment (I’m a teacher) and will continue to get paid as school systems around the country switch over to the uncharted territory of “remote learning” (cue eye roll emoji.) In between uploading lessons and talking to parents I’m walking almost daily, close to thirty-five miles a week most weeks. But I know a lot of people who aren’t even leaving the house, when a nice stroll or bike ride would relieve some worries, even if it’s only temporary. Please just remember that if you decide to turn to nature, be kind to those trees and rocks and animals and don’t take advantage of the beauty you see, even if you’re only seeing it because you can’t do what you usually do. Nature is what some people turn to all the time. I’m one of them. Save it for me, if not for your children. Throw your used masks and gloves in the trash, not on the ground! Thank you ahead of time.

The other reason that I’m not totally in quarantine is that, quite honestly, I can’t be because of the actions of others. Yes, I’m recovering from cancer and treatment and really should not be in public places because of my weakened immune system. However, people who could safely do their shopping in person are doing it online and blocking up all the time that elderly folks and compromised individuals like me need so we don’t have to go into enclosed places and rub elbows with a lot of others who could put us at extreme risk. Add to that the fact that so many Americans are not taking the threat seriously and flat out refuse to wear a mask and gloves and the risk goes up even more for us who need to be careful. For what its worth, I’m asking you that if you are in good health, please put on simple protective items and do your shopping in the store, thus leaving store pickup and delivery time slots for those who really need them. A couple of weeks ago I had to give up my bid to have my food delivered or readied for pick up because Walmart was booked solid for over a week. We all have to eat, and I couldn’t wait a week, so I made a special bag with masks and gloves that my sisters and I collected when we thought I would need to have chemo, and went to the store myself. So, the next time you see me, don’t tell me to stay home, okay? The truth is, I can’t. And maybe someone you love can’t either, for the same reason!

Don’t even get me going on toilet paper.

Jeez, I was supposed to be finishing up my radiation and getting back to traveling. We’re living in some pretty weird times. BUT–

Let’s all pull together and get through this and learn something from it and think of our fellow Americans and not just ourselves. We ALL have to do this, not just some of us. As of today, I know someone who died of this virus. It’s no joke, just ask the smarty that licked a toilet seat to be funny and ended up with the very illness he was mocking.

Fingers crossed that we can all soon get back to normal.

Sending best wishes.